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Literature Text
Micropasta: A Loose Screw
The human mind is its own antithesis, inventing phantoms and monsters even when the current scenario it is residing in is perfectly safe.
That’s what you keep telling yourself, anyway.
Every single day after moving into your grandpa’s old house (two weeks after his rather unfortunate passing, as of now), you caught sight of a black blur of a shadow in the corner of your vision. You’d dismiss it as a piece of hair that keeps getting in your eye or the like, but the thing is that it always happens in the same place of your house. The shadow seems to zip out of your field of view into a storage closet you haven’t felt the need to use yet.
Well, time to put these irrational fears to rest. Time to open the door to that unused closet and prove that there’s nothing there. And so you open the door and-
-there’s nothing there. You feel silly for even getting bothered about something so mundane. One thing does catch your eye, though. A loose screw in an odd place in the closet’s wall, the one which faced you directly upon opening it. You are a carpenter for a living, and you know there’s really no need for a screw to be there. It looks rusty, and could prove a risk for tetanus if left there for someone to prick themselves on. And so you grab your tools, lamenting that you have to work in a manner of speaking even though it’s a weekend.
You loosen the nail, extract it, and immediately realize you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. Stacked floor to ceiling in the space between the false wall and the ceiling are the bones of your grandfather’s victims. Between his getting arrested in the circumstances surrounding all those missing children, and the media frenzy around his execution, the one enduring mystery was why not a single body was ever found.
At last, it concretely seems any hopes that your family may have been holding onto in regards to your grandfather being falsely accused have been thoroughly dashed.
The human mind is its own antithesis, inventing phantoms and monsters even when the current scenario it is residing in is perfectly safe.
That’s what you keep telling yourself, anyway.
Every single day after moving into your grandpa’s old house (two weeks after his rather unfortunate passing, as of now), you caught sight of a black blur of a shadow in the corner of your vision. You’d dismiss it as a piece of hair that keeps getting in your eye or the like, but the thing is that it always happens in the same place of your house. The shadow seems to zip out of your field of view into a storage closet you haven’t felt the need to use yet.
Well, time to put these irrational fears to rest. Time to open the door to that unused closet and prove that there’s nothing there. And so you open the door and-
-there’s nothing there. You feel silly for even getting bothered about something so mundane. One thing does catch your eye, though. A loose screw in an odd place in the closet’s wall, the one which faced you directly upon opening it. You are a carpenter for a living, and you know there’s really no need for a screw to be there. It looks rusty, and could prove a risk for tetanus if left there for someone to prick themselves on. And so you grab your tools, lamenting that you have to work in a manner of speaking even though it’s a weekend.
You loosen the nail, extract it, and immediately realize you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. Stacked floor to ceiling in the space between the false wall and the ceiling are the bones of your grandfather’s victims. Between his getting arrested in the circumstances surrounding all those missing children, and the media frenzy around his execution, the one enduring mystery was why not a single body was ever found.
At last, it concretely seems any hopes that your family may have been holding onto in regards to your grandfather being falsely accused have been thoroughly dashed.
Literature
Creepypasta - Where The Unknown Hides
I recently moved into my first house and I was really excited about it. This will be my first time living alone. I won’t have to worry about waking my parents up at night with loud rock music, I can eat what I want at anytime, and won’t have to listen to my mother’s babbling about how dirty and messy my room is.
It’s a small house, with two bedrooms, a small kitchen with two low drawers, the living room where I keep my guitars and drums, a small basement, and last but not least a narrow attic. It’s only me living in that old but comfy house after all, I don’t need very much space.
I tried to get to know m
Literature
Creepypasta OC template
Make sure to take all he italicized words out~
•Basic info•
Pasta name (not their actual name, what people know them as):
Name:
Nickname:
D.O.B (Date of Birth):
Age:
Species:
Currently living:
•family•
Mother:
Father:
Brother:
Sister:
other family members:
•physical features•
Height:
Weight:
Tattoo(s):
Scar(s):
Other noticeable mark(s):
Physical strength(s):
Physical weakness(es):
•about him/her•
Personality:
Like:
Dislikes:
Back story:
How(s)he kills:
Saying:
Suggested Collections
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Comments19
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThanks so much for taking my prompt! ^^
okay, here it goes:
I like the first line, it's very philosophical/psychological, and a bit similarly to an essay, it sets a nice subject at the start.
the twist that comes in the second, short line, opposing to the first line is what really opens up the doors into the story. it introduces the real tone of the narrator, by breaking from the fixed, technical intro.
as for the second person POV, it's amazing how you make such great use of it, really, i try learning from you and using it in some of my writing as well, but the way you insert little realistic details, and the way you guide/create a thinking pattern for the reader grounds me solidly into the story. It actually feels like I am that person, when you say things like "you'd dismiss it as a piece of hair that keeps getting into your vision", or "you haven't felt the need to use" the closet.
However, I feel like the anticipation could've built up a little longer. The climax of the story was slightly weak; perhaps you could have written a little more about the shadows? Maybe it was just me but I felt like the relationship between the shadows, possibly being the spirits of the children who were abducted, was a bit weak.
Compared to the story of Olivia, Ava and the old lady, I feel like the mentioning of the victims was a bit too sudden. In Olivia's story, there was a little more detail on the phantom of the story, and how the old lady would appear often to pull out her hair and spook her. When it was revealed, after we descended into the mind of Ava, who the old lady was and how she ended up there, that felt really, really satisfyingly scary.
This piece was good - I just felt like you could have mentioned the context revolving the second character's situation a little more.
Nonetheless, the last line did leave an impression on me, as a confirmation of the grandpa's actual character being a gruesome murderer rather than a loving, innocent grandparent.