literature

These Words, Right Here

Deviation Actions

KomradApex's avatar
By
Published:
291 Views

Literature Text

These Words, Right Here

All things possible, all the world’s a stage
My best friends are the words on this page
They will never betray, this is my wish
We both know what to say, this is bliss

Do I write you or do you make me?
Who knows, who cares
Will it ever be understood twice?
It shows, these layers
Does the work surpass the artist?
I for one think it does
Is this worth sacrificing everything for?
These words, worthy of the greatest loves

Everything I want is here, here in this prose
I no longer know fear, my cup overflows
I cannot remember the hurt, the wounds heal
You are my friends, you make my dreams real
A quick poem about the nature and beauty of the written word, particularly poetry itself.
© 2014 - 2024 KomradApex
Comments9
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
CoffeeJesus96's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

This is my first critique so sorry if it's not too amazing
Firstly I want to say that I really enjoyed this, it's an interesting take on the relationship an artist has with his medium and something I know quite a lot of us will be able to relate to.

You clearly have a particular audience in mind and as a member of that audience it certainly does wonders to know that this was written with someone such as myself in mind, the drawback of this of course is that it has the possibility of alienating others who don't understand what you've produced.

Reading this was an absolute joy, I didn't find anything jarring and it flowed perfectly, I like to read things out loud when I intend to comment and this simply rolled off my tongue so well done in that regard. Having said that my only complaint is that you didn't break up "My best friends are the words on this page" whereas every other line in the stanza was broken into two, with a piece like this consistency is key.

In regards to your imagery I have to say I felt like I was sitting at an oak desk with a pen in hand and half filled page in-front of me from the very first line right till the end when I was dragged kicking and screaming back into reality. On the one hand I would like this to be longer, but that's just a selfish desire to become more immersed within this piece, on the other I feel that this is far more effective at it's current length. That's something for you to play around with and decide on your own and honestly it varies from piece to piece.

The Shakespeare reference was particularly striking for me as it's something I haven't actually seen before in any other writers work and I really did appreciate the 'throw back' as it were to the bard as it sets the tone for the entire piece.